For about a month, Austin High classes have been left empty due to a student-led strike. The students, who have formed a coalition called the Student Rights Union, have threatened that they won’t return to class until they receive certain guarantees, including an end to the “Bell Doesn’t Dismiss You, I Do” and “Everyone Gets In Trouble Because One Person Broke The Rules” policies.

Recently, this strike came to an end, not due to any negotiations, but because the district hired the Pinkerton National Detective Agency to end the union.

Yep! The company known for strikebreaking and union busting in the late 19th century is still around, and they’re still fighting the war for labor rights, against labor rights!

“It was actually pretty easy,” said one agent. “Usually we need to be careful about it because threatening people and their families is generally illegal, but children are barely considered people by the law anyways, so it’s fine!”

As classes return to normal, we can once again dismiss the silly idea of treating teenagers as human beings who deserve the same rights as everybody else.