Every day, the hard-working cafeteria staff at our school feed hundreds of people around the building. They offer a plentiful variety of dishes and combinations for the educators and students alike. Providing both breakfast and lunch, their hard work wafts through the halls. It’s my job to tell you how to get the most bang for your buck.

Your first dilemma when walking into the cafeteria is a major one: the line. There’s three options of where you can chow down, and in this article, I’ll give you my personal ranking. You don’t have to follow or agree with what I say, but just know that you should. I’m right. 

The third best line in our school is the left line, or as the regulars like to call it, ‘Type 2’. It’s filled with classics like burgers, french fries, chicken nuggets, and pizza. They do rotate a few items, but the core options stay the same. 

This line is perfect for a quick and easy fix, and with the recent addition of Pizza Hut to the menu on Fridays, it gets even better. The only downside to this greasefest is how long the wait can be. It moves at a quick pace, but before long it becomes the most crowded line in the cafeteria. If you don’t want to stick it out in line, I would recommend getting down early or waiting until after the major lunch rush dies down, around 12:55. 

The second best line is the right line. Here, diners are offered something they don’t get a lot of at school: Freedom. By utilizing buffet-style technology, the right line provides a revolutionary eating experience, in which you build your own meal.

At the start of the line, you choose from a grain and a protein. For the grain, you can either get tortilla chips, spanish rice, or both. For the protein, the options of chicken and pinto beans are given daily, but the carnitas are only available on Mondays and Fridays, and beef is only on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. After that pick, you’re offered loads of sides to add into your bowl, ranging from lettuce to corn salad. There’s guacamole as well, and it even still tastes good after it falls on your jeans and you have to scrape it off. In my opinion, the biggest incentive to go to the right line is that they offer the healthiest food in the cafeteria. If you’re dating a vegetarian, bring them here and they’ll probably give you a big smooch. I would also recommend that you don’t try to wait out the line here, as the toppings are not restocked and you’ll be left with the dregs.

Finally, we get to the best line; Middle. The holy grail of high school food. The meals are so good here it almost feels as if a genius little rat was cooking them via a complex system of hair pulling.

It’s a Cheesecake Factory ahh line, with all sorts of delicacies like potstickers, barbeque drumsticks, tacos, and the highly acclaimed buffalo chicken wrap. They rotate items every day, and even change it up week by week. Best of all, the wait is almost never long. On Mondays, there’s always a major rush for the orange chicken, being the most popular item on the menu, but the rest of the week is smooth sailing. The Cafeteria Crusader gives this line five out of five stars.

Though the meals are wonderful, it’s quite easy to forget who’s behind it all. Our cafeteria workers are incredibly versatile and hardworking, and 100% kill it every time. They fuel countless students and teachers to get through the day, and do it all with gusto. Straight up awesome!